The F Word Part 3: Finding Light in Financial Struggles

Ok, let’s review. If you’ve never had a credit card declined due to insufficient funds, then I’d suggest you skip this article and go tackle more pressing matters—like debating how much is too much to pay for a sweatshirt. But for those of us who’ve stood in line and seen that dreaded "decline" pop up, this one's for you.

A day in the life of someone dealing with the F word—financial hardships—might look something like this: you're at the store, and when the total pops up, you’re forced to remove items, item by item, praying you can keep just enough to feed the family. Then, while others fill their cars with gas, you're playing Russian Roulette with your credit cards, trying to find one with enough room to get just $15 worth of gas. And don’t even start on how many times you can push “ignore” when the utility company calls. With each decline, with each item put back, there's that sinking feeling of embarrassment that creeps in—and it never really goes away, especially when these situations play out day after day.

So, what do you do?

First things first, validate your feelings. Yes, it feels crappy. Yes, it’s embarrassing. Yes, you feel alone—even though you're not. We can sit with the toxic thoughts, like “I’m a loser,” “I can’t even provide for my family,” or “Why can everyone else get it together, but not me?” But if we dwell on those thoughts, they’ll pull us deeper into a dark hole, and climbing out will feel impossible.

Once you’ve validated how you’re feeling, it’s time to shift focus—toward the light at the end of the tunnel. And by light, I mean quite literally. Go outside and watch the sun rise or set. It may sound small, but there’s something powerful about witnessing nature’s cycles. As the day starts, there’s potential—who knows if today’s the day the phone rings with a job offer or an interview? As the day ends, you may not see hope in your financial situation just yet, but there’s beauty in the colors of the sky, reminding us that there’s always a new day ahead. Tomorrow is full of possibility.

Next, no matter how little you have in your bank account, find a way to give to others. You may wonder, why give when I barely have anything myself? Here’s why: one day, I had only $10 in my bank account, knowing I’d get paid that week. It was a tough feeling, but I realized $10 wasn’t going to break me. I passed a man sitting outside a Tim Horton’s and decided to buy him a $5 gift card. His smile said it all. Sometimes, giving to someone else in need, even when you’re struggling, is the spark that helps you feel a little more human again. You might be in a tough spot, but the act of giving—even something small—can fill your soul.

Another idea I’d like to suggest is mindfulness. I'll admit, I used to think it was a bit fluffy until I started leading Mindfulness groups myself. One of its core teachings is to be present—gently bringing your mind back to the now. When you’re surrounded by bills, empty cupboards, and a near-empty gas tank, being present is hard. It’s easier to spiral into “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios. But I encourage you to try. When your child comes home from school, don’t retreat into the mental fog of stress. Be present for them. Their smiles, laughter, and stories can be the best medicine and might just shine some light into your day. When a friend calls and needs you, be there for them too. It’s a small act, but in listening and being present for someone else, you bring light into both of your lives.

A final idea, and perhaps the most important for those of us who are religious or spiritual, is that prayer can offer profound relief. I pray daily, and for me, it’s an act of letting go. In prayer, I release my worries to G-D, trusting that I’ve done all I can, and the rest is beyond my control. There’s a deep sense of surrender in that moment—acknowledging that while I may not see the bigger picture right now, there is one, and I can find peace in knowing that I don’t have to carry the burden alone.

I’m not going to downplay the struggle of the F word. We don’t always have control over the number in our bank account, or who gets hired for that job you desperately want. But we do have the power of choice. We can choose to sit in the darkness or look toward the light. We can choose to see tomorrow as a new day, a day of potential.

#FinancialStruggles #PrayerForRelief #Mindfulness #Support #TherapySkills #FindingLight #OvercomingHardship #MentalHealth #Resilience