Don’t Walk Ahead or Behind—Walk Beside

There’s a song I grew up with that’s been on my mind today:“Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”

The other day, I observed a group of 10-year-old girls. One of them carried herself like a leader—head held high, moving about without a care in the world. Her friends hung on every word, as if everything she said was a precious lesson. But then my eyes landed on another girl, standing quietly at the side. She wasn’t included, just watching, waiting, yearning for someone to extend their hand and say, “Come join us.”

That moment struck me deeply.

As an ambivert—part introvert, part extrovert—I’ve lived both roles. Over the years, as my self-confidence has grown, my extroverted side has flourished. Yet, I can still be found standing on the edges of a room, depending on how I feel that day. There are times I silently hope someone will notice me, invite me into their circle, or simply start a conversation.

And it makes me wonder: why don’t we all take a moment to look around a room and notice the ones who seem left out? Those who are quietly waiting for connection?

Research tells us this is a bigger issue than it seems. According to the Pew Research Center, 11% of teens say they don’t even have one close friend to turn to in a time of need. In The Anxious Generation, Jonathan Haidt quotes a Canadian college student who shared:

“Oftentimes I’ll arrive early to a lecture to find a room of 30+ students sitting together in complete silence, absorbed in their smartphones, afraid to speak and be heard by their peers. This leads to further isolation and a weakening of self-identity and confidence, something I know because I’ve experienced it firsthand.”

That story echoes what I saw with the girls—and what many of us feel as adults too.

Now, imagine this: what if just one or two students in that silent lecture hall looked up, smiled, and said “hi”? That tiny spark could melt the ice of loneliness, creating warmth and connection. A smile and a greeting are simple, but they carry incredible power.

I know this isn’t easy for everyone. For some, it takes courage to reach out. But if you can, I encourage you to try. Look for that classmate, co-worker, or neighbor who seems to be standing alone. Smile. Say hi. If you feel bold, invite them to join you.

It may seem like a small gesture, but it isn’t small to the person on the receiving end. You have the ability to change the trajectory of someone’s day, week, or even their life—with something as simple as a smile and a word.

Because at the end of the day, we all want the same thing: someone to walk beside us.