The 0 to 100 Myth

"I go from 0 to 100 in a snap.

"It’s a phrase I hear often in my office—usually from someone frustrated with their anger and how quickly it seems to take over. But here’s the thing: I don’t believe you.

Now hear me out. I’m not saying you’re lying. I’m saying I don’t think you were ever at zero to begin with.

Let me explain.

In all my years working with people navigating anger, I’ve never had someone sit across from me and say, “I was outside enjoying the beautiful weather, sun on my face, birds chirping, not a care in the world—and then BAM, I shoved a stranger because they blocked the sun for a second.”

That’s not how it works.

Let’s try a more likely story. Michael wakes up late. He’s rushing out the door, already irritated because he forgot his lunch—let’s say he’s at a 10. At lunch, trying to salvage the day, he walks to the park for a hot dog. While eating, ketchup drips on his brand-new tie—up to a 20. He wipes it off, annoyed, and checks his phone. A message from his girlfriend: “Sorry, can’t make dinner with your parents tonight... again.” Now he’s at a 45. Trying to calm down, he tilts his head to the sun, eyes closed, breathing in the fresh air... and then someone stops directly in front of him, blocking his moment of peace. And before he knows it, Michael’s shoving the guy aside.

Michael tells the story as if he went from 0 to 100. But take a closer look—he never started at zero. His stress and frustration had been building all day. That final moment was just the tipping point.

So here’s my challenge to you:

The next time you say, “I just snapped!”, ask yourself—where was I actually starting from?Was there traffic that morning? A fight the night before? A series of small annoyances you brushed off?

Anger rarely comes out of nowhere. It builds. Quietly. Sometimes invisibly. But the better we get at noticing the climb, the more power we have to stop ourselves before we reach 100.

And if you still believe you truly went from 0 to 100 with no warning? I'd love to hear your story. Prove me wrong—I’m all ears.