F Word Part 2-You Gotta Pay to Play

A good friend of mine, Esther, would use the phrase "you gotta pay to play", and honestly, nothing else captures the weight of financial stress as perfectly. Remember how going to the playground as a kid was free and fun, no strings attached? Fast forward to adulthood, and even the metaphorical "playground" comes with a price tag.

Picture this: your daughter rushes over, excited that her friends Abby and Sophia are taking dance lessons, and she wants to join. Then comes that gut-wrenching moment when you have to say no. Abby and Sophia walk off, talking about dance class, while your daughter stands there feeling left out. Or maybe it's your teenage son asking for some cash to grab pizza with his friends, but that cash is budgeted for groceries, so now he has to make an excuse. And let’s not forget you—your coworkers invite you out for after-work drinks, but with maxed-out credit cards and no paycheck until Friday, you awkwardly decline. It’s not just the money; sometimes, when you're drowning in financial stress, you don't even have the energy to “play.” We are carrying the burden of maxed out credit cards, utility cancellation notice and a last warning from our insurance broker that if you don’t make this month's payment… you’ll be CANCELED.

I recently watched a video on financial anxiety, and the speaker's advice was simple: just work harder. My question is, what about those of us who are already working as hard as we can, sometimes juggling multiple jobs, and still can’t catch up? Financial stress isn’t just overwhelming—it’s isolating. It keeps us from socializing, joining teams, and it even puts a strain on our relationships.

Now that you’ve got a sense of what many of us are dealing with, let me share some advice on what not to say:

• “It’ll be over soon.” Unless you're a psychic, maybe keep this one to yourself.

• “Just work harder.” You have no idea how hard we’re working already.

• “Find a better-paying job.” Thanks for that life-changing insight—if only it were that simple.

• “I know how you feel. We had to cut back from eating out four times a week to two.” Yeah, not quite the same struggle.

If you truly want to help, here’s what you can do:

• Take us out for a drink and just listen (and yes, pick up the tab).

• If your company is hiring, recommend us for a job.

• If you run your own business, take a chance on your friend who’s struggling—they might just become your hardest-working employee.

• If you have some extra income, quietly offer to help with your niece or nephew’s hockey or dance fees for the year.

For those of us carrying the heavy burden of financial stress, yes, it may seem dark right now, but next week I’ll share some tips on how you can bring in light during these trying times.