Avoid Becoming the Person Yelling in Line: The Power of Daily Check-Ins”

This morning, as I was leaving Tim Hortons, I experienced a serious déjà vu moment. A woman in line was yelling at one of the employees. My mind started swirling—what could this employee have possibly done to deserve that level of berating? (Spoiler: no one deserves to be treated like that.)

Then, another customer stepped in, clearly trying to defend the employee. A kind, morally-grounded soul. And what did he get for standing up? An earful of anger directed his way, telling him not to get involved.

I could write week after week about scenes like this—we’ve all witnessed horrendous behavior in public. To the kind souls who step up to defend others: please keep doing what you’re doing. This blog, though, is for those moments when we risk being the ones misbehaving.

In my previous post, The 0 to 100 Myth, I shared that no one truly goes from zero to furious instantly. There are always steps leading up to that outburst. Today, I want to share a simple yet powerful tool to help manage those steps: daily check-ins.

Let’s use this morning’s Tim Hortons situation as an example. I doubt the woman woke up planning to act like a jerk in public. Something happened—probably a series of small frustrations—that built up to that moment.

That’s where daily check-ins come in. Here’s how it works:

• Morning: When you wake up, ask yourself, “Where am I at?” Are you well-rested and calm, or cranky from lack of sleep?

• Breakfast: Did someone make you a cup of hot coffee (good start!) or did your kid finish all the milk (potentially setting off negative thoughts)?

• Commute: Did you hit all green lights, feeling like it’s going to be a good day, or slam on the brakes, spill your black coffee (no milk, remember), and walk into work already muttering?

These quick check-ins give you something powerful: self-awareness.

When you know you’re in a bad mood, you can plan for it. You can take a breath instead of snapping at your co-worker’s usual “dumb joke.” You can do a calming exercise in the Tim Hortons line instead of exploding when your order needs repeating three times.

Daily check-ins take one second. Simply pause and ask yourself:

👉 “Where am I at right now?”

With that knowledge, you have a choice—you can be grateful when things are good or take steps to regulate yourself when things aren’t. It’s a small habit that can make the difference between a calm morning coffee and becoming the person yelling in public.