ADHD Dumped in My Lap- "Stop Being So Lazy"

"Stop being so lazy", "why can’t you try harder", "just put in some effort"... these phrases are all too familiar to those living with ADHD. What their loved ones may not realize is that it's not about laziness—it's about their brains working differently. Time is perceived differently for individuals with ADHD; it's either "now" or "not now."

Consider this scenario: you ask your partner to wash the dishes. In their mind, washing dishes seems mundane, and they think they have all night to do it. They decide to watch a few TikTok videos first, as they find them more stimulating. Before they know it, the dishes are forgotten amidst the entertainment.

Similarly, a mom asks her son to fold and put away his laundry. He promises to do it after finishing his video game. However, he gets absorbed in the game, and the laundry slips his mind entirely. Two days later, the laundry still lies untouched, and frustration ensues.

In both cases, there's no ill intent. Both individuals fully intended to fulfill the tasks but got sidetracked by more engaging activities. If the task doesn't need to be done immediately, it's mentally tucked away until it's forgotten amidst the dopamine rush of entertainment.

So, what's the solution? Rather than resorting to frustration and anger, it's crucial to work with loved ones with ADHD. Asking them to do tasks immediately or setting a timer can help them stay on track. Open communication and collaboration are key—discuss together what strategies might work best.

Remember, negativity and insults only serve to discourage, not motivate. Is a spotless kitchen or neatly folded laundry worth emotional harm? It's time to rethink our approach and foster understanding and support for those living with ADHD.